FIVE MORE CHARACTERISTICS OF SEVERELY CONFLICTED PARISHES

1. Hostage taking occurs "unless . . . l'm leaving".

  • Remedy: "We love you, appreciate what you've done, and don't want you to leave, however . . . "
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    2. Relationship obsessions abound with unhealthy clinging or distancing. This may lead to endless analysis, therapy, inward scrutiny, and desperate solutions.

  • Remedy: Focus on the great outward common tasks and purposes.

    • 3. An exhausted few tenuously cling to the wheel as the ship tosses and lunges largely out of control.

  • Remedy: Leaders must priorize, set boundaries, differentiate tasks, and proceed with faith in God and their own integrity. Reduce the tasks to match the resources and create the space for some enjoyment.

    • 4. Insecurity reactions around books, buildings, the old days, and the past hero will be sentimentalized. People will cling to each other in unhealthy ways: gossip circles, power groups, guard-dog teams, and "ain't it awful" observation teams.

  • Remedy: Help the community find its security in their primary convictions; God, Christ, the word, the mission, and the love.

    • 5. Often there is a sense of morass and abyss. Poverty thinking will overcome abundance thinking. "We're hurting. We're stuck. We're getting to like our insecurities. We're poor and that insures nothing good can happen. Even if we could change the cost might be too high."

  • Remedy: A new climate, new patterns of relating, abundance thinking, hope kindled

    • Item XI

    ©1999 Ronald C. Ferris